Project Runway All Stars: Dial 911
I was sick last week and was blessed to miss not only the terrible people who are Little Big Town, but the bullshit that comes with a team challenge. I was little sorry to miss Daniel’s swift but inevitable departure, but like last season with Chris March, it was obvious from the beginning that he was not prepared for the abrupt format change and the “your time is counted in hours not days” to make a garment.
This week, Alyssa rolls up in an Ambulance to a firehouse to meet the contestants. But for those who think this is a uniform challenge or a sexy fireman challenge, prepare to be disappointed. The firehouse is decommissioned: now it’s a creative arts center. So it’s a creative challenge? Not that either: it’s our first unconventional challenge, using items that would be found around a firehouse, as well as police items and EMT hospital type items.
Back in the workroom it’s time for everyone to act bitchy to one another, while Sam earns his keep with coming up with the catch phrase “Catheter Couture.” For some reason everyone has decided he’s a threat. This is much like Under The Gunn, where everyone built him up, and he became convinced he was a good designer…and then in the finale he collapsed almost completely. Until I see that not happen on All Stars, I will continue to write this off.
Let’s see who Zanna is writing off this week.
- Layana: She’s making a gown from hospital tape. Zanna sneers it looks smurf-like.
- Ken: The idea of a straight jacket dress from the inside of hose pipe turns out to be one of Zanna’s turn ons.
- Valerie: Her cotton swab skirt idea is pretty ingenious. Let’s hope the final product lives up to it.
- Stella: She’s drowning in oxygen hose. Zanna is appalled, and yells at her that it’s not an art challenge.
- Asha: She has no ideas so she’s copying Valerie’s much better version from the next table. Zanna takes her dummy and rolls it next to Valerie so that no one can miss this is what is happening.
- Mitchell: He’s still here! Zanna can’t believe it either, and sneers that his outfit belongs on Project Craftway.
- Emily: Zanna calls her bandage dress a mummy.
- Dom: She’s making a gown out of little slices of X-ray paper. Bloody genius.
- Kini: His gown of gloves looks like the couture version of Helping Hands.
- Sam: For a second I thought he was showing Zanna an empty dummy, which would have been a perfect metaphor. But, no. There is something. Couldn’t tell you what it is though.
- Alexander: He’s gluing bandages. Zanna looks wary.
And that’s enough dream crushing from Zanna. Stella starts over from scratch. The models come in and express amusement at the challenge. Well, at least the ones who have something to try on. Those who have nothing to try on look askance. Some of the designers only have half an outfit because it took them too long to make the first half. Stella is hoping to make even a first half of her outfit since she wasted so much time on her tubes.
Day of runway, and those who were already in a bad place are headed straight to panic-ville. Some of them are straight up stealing the left overs of the others to come up with anything last-minute. Those who succeeded though look like they really succeeded. Once the commercials are over for hair, make up, shoes and the like are over, it’s time to head to the runway and see who will be the Queen of the Firehouse and who will be calling 911.
What the hell did they put Alyssa in this week? Just because it’s an Unconventional Challenge does not mean one needs to wear something from the back rack of on sale prom dressed at Marshall’s. That’s a different kind of Unconventional fashion. Isaac Mizhari always shows up for work. Georgina has shown up four weeks running, which means we’re due for her to disappear next week. The guest judge is Johnny Wujek, whose claim to fame is dressing Katy Perry to look like she’s wearing Unconventional Materials on every red carpet.
Kini: Parade Float.
Layana: The proportions are off, especially where the faux cut outs land.
Mitchell: In a fairer world, this would go straight to the bottom. They must be trying to keep him around for a spectacular meltdown.
Dom: I really wanted to love this, but the final product with the bad sleeves and the hospital gown overcoat ruin it.
Emily: I’m shocked how much I love it. I don’t even care that it’s very 1997. I’d have put this in the top.
Valerie: I wish she’d been able to do the whole skirt in Swabs. If she had, I think this would have been a winning look. As it is, it’s one of the most polished pieces up there.
Ken: This is Amazeballs. There are a few fit issues in the bodice and the whole thing looks heavy and hot as hell, but in terms of what people come up with on an Unconventional Challenge, this is Top Tier. That the judges don’t give this the win is a travesty.
Sam: He calls the coat “Mad Max girl” and I can see it. The coat is really awesome, though not my style. The bandage dress underneath was made in less that 30 minutes though, and looks it. I’m amazed the judges give this the win over Ken. Who in the production is friends with this kid’s parents? (I swear I asked that on UTG too.)
Asha: This is bad in the club wear. This wishes it were at least as good as Alexander’s. There are good ideas here (like the pills) she should have gone whole hog on, instead of half assing.
Stella: Look, she finished. In her shoes, Daniel probably wouldn’t have. And the skyline wasn’t a bad last-minute thought–it probably would have been better if she’d come up with it the first day instead of the 11th hour.
I’m sorry Stella is out instead of Asha. But I’m not surprised. Much like Daniel, the production didn’t bring her back to win. They brought her back to make it seem like PR:AS is so hard, see, even classic contestants can’t hack it. They don’t realize instead they’re showing how terrible they’ve made the show since moving it to Lifetime and cutting the time down to cheap results good instead of fashion good.