Project Runway Season 13: Creative Arts Red Carpet
Our contestants are confronted with red carpet set dressing and Heidi in a flasher trench coat when they arrive at the runway studio. Heidi tells us this is because she has “nothing to wear.” I doubt that. (I also doubt she’s wearing nothing under the trench coat.) The challenge: dress her for the red carpet for the 2014 Creative Arts Emmys. Tim provides a dossier of Heidi in sex bomb gowns for inspiration. Then it’s off to Mood, where they have $250 dollars to spend. Tim reminds them of his mantra: “The success of a challenge begins and ends at Mood.” Funny, I thought his mantra was “Make It Work.”
There’s no point in pretending. This red carpet already happened and we know who won, because Heidi told everyone who made her dress. I assumed this was a mistake. But I wonder–did they deliberate spoil the winning look to get people to tune in? It backfired. I know who made the winning dress. I don’t care a whit for workroom drama. The only suspense tonight is the (multiple?) eliminations. There’s only two episodes after tonight to shave it down to a manageable number to present at the Theater in Lincoln Center. Right now the contestant count stands at twelve.
Tim’s got Heidi along for the walk through, I suppose I should pay attention.
- Samantha: Her bodice is nothing special. Tim says don’t bore Heidi.
- Kini: Heidi says it needs to be sexier. Tim says redoing will eat into his nap time. (Fact: No one should ever nap on PR unless they’re ready to go home.)
- Alexander: He’s got something couture leaning. Heidi worries it will show her ass.
- Emily: Asymmetrical neckline in various sequins. Heidi nods.
- Amanda: It’s godawful. Thank god she won’t win for it. Too bad she has immunity.
- Sean: His look is just a sheath at this point. Heidi builds up some “You’ve been in the bottom before” drama.
- Char: Her print is ugly. Heidi hates it.
- Fäde: His striped number is not interesting. Heidi shakes her hips asking for more.
- Mitchell: The top is scifi tacky. Tim hisses “re-conceive.”
- Sandhya: Her design is pure Bollywood. Heidi asks if she’s ever seen Dynasty. Sandhya has not. Tim has to explain this is bad.
- Kristine: Her fabric is so thin. Heidi calls it cheap.
- Korina: The green is awful and the snake-skin is worse. Heidi looks ill, and starts making fun of it in German to Fäde across the room.
In response, Miss “I Sneer At Everyone&Then Wonder Why I Don’t Win” has a meltdown. She doesn’t “do” red carpet, she wails. How many years has this show been on? There’s always a red carpet challenge! Were you planning to be eliminated before this?
Heidi is so appalled she demands something be done. They can’t give the contestants more time (when they do that, it is a preplanned surprise.) The next best thing is to give anyone who wants it Another trip to Mood. It’s telling that the winning designer is one who passes on this opportunity. Those who don’t go are encouraged to donate their supplemental $100 to those going. This is how Sandhya manages to score $500–twice the budget she had the first time.
The models come and go. Those who just finished shopping only have muslin to try on. They only have four hours left and then tomorrow morning to finish.
Day of runway, and it’s time to get our winner out of the way. Let’s see who was robbed, and who is done.
Heidi is wearing black and animal print today. (But not snake-skin.) Zac Posen and Nina Garcia have both come to work for five episodes running. The guest judge is Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn. The Tim Gunn Save is still available. The AnthonyRyan Rule is supposedly in effect, though Heidi admits since she did the walk through she’ll have some idea of who made what.
Char: A complete remake. Looks like a prom dress.
Emily: Didn’t reshop, and it’s clear why. The best thing about her look is the fabric she used.
Alexander: Didn’t reshop. But it is way too short in the back and the heavy flared out skirt means you can see right up her dress.
Samantha: She bought extra fabric to jazz up her original look and it’s still Boring.
Sandhya: That’s what $500 buys you. The design is ultra simple, because the fabric doesn’t need anything else.
Fäde: He supplemented with extra yardage to good effect. This should have been in the top.
Amanda: Awful. This has no business being in the top, like last week and the Movie night week. The show is pushing her to the finale so their “redemption” vote will be more meaningful. The fact that Heidi knew this was her gown suggests she over scored her for it. Nina lets us know she knew it was Amanda, and over scored her. (This is why the AnthonyRyan Rule is important.) At least Zac admits it’s awful. No way is Heidi wearing that in public.
Kini: A knockout gown. Heidi says it looks like it should cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Lindsey calls it stunning. Nina love the way the dress hugs her perfectly. All three name check how great the back looks. Zac calls it his high score. This is robbed of the win–see below.
Sean: Hey look, the winning dress. When it stands still in photos, it’s not impressive. it’s kind of homemade looking and not red carpet at all. The key to it is the movement of the fringe. Let’s have Heidi demonstrate. The judges all praise it–of course they do. It won.
But let’s be honest–It looks like a winning Project Runway gown, not a professionally made red carpet gown. If Kini had won, she would have looked like she was wearing a professional red carpet gown. But then, it wouldn’t have stuck out in the photos as “I’m Wearing Project Runway!” which is the point of the exercise. Sorry Kini.
Kristine: A complete remake and a complete disaster. The bodice is too wide and the floating boobs inside triangular points. Everyone makes devil horns jokes. Zac says it’s borderline indecent. Kristine admits he’s right. He does like the paneling cut out on the side, as does Nina.
Korina: A complete remake and a complete disaster. She’s excuses city. At least Mitchell and Kristine didn’t bother. Since she gives them the opportunity, Nina rips her to shreds. Heidi continues to hate the green, this time in English, since Korina didn’t get it the first time.
Mitchell: A complete remake and a complete disaster. Mitchell says “The fabric beat me up.” It’s just janky, and they all know it. Let’s not belabor the point. He was never going to make Lincoln Center anyway. He’s out.
So they’re going to cut Korina too right? No! Damn it. She just gives too good a side interview catty bullshit. Instead they cut Kristine. Unfair. Korina should have been cut. But Tim won’t use his save on one and then not on the other because that would be really cruel. Bye Kristine.
Next week: Dita Von Teese.