Project Runway Season 10: We Are All Real Women
….and then there were 10.
Heidi is wearing an oddly frumpy purple dress. Is that to help her blend in with the normals that she brings out onto the runway? The contestants all pretend to be confused, as if they’ve never seen the show and don’t recognize this immediately as the “real women challenge.” These turn out not to be those women–these people have friends who they have decided need make overs. Heidi asks if the contestants will help. Dmitry asks if they have a choice. Fuck you. No you don’t. The contestants don’t even get to choose the clients. Everyone is randomly assigned.
In the workroom the leader from the name dropping hair salon is there to insist that there should be major hair make overs along with the style make over. Then we meet the clients and their friends. Sonjia has a self described “short pear shaped” social worker who hates to shop. Elena gets a girl in a rainbow dress whose friend who nominated her for this calls “fug.” (Nice.) Christopher’s client tell him she sees her friend in hip trendy boots and a jacket. Her friend does not look so sure about this. Ven’s client is plus sized, and he looks ill. Dmitry rubs his hands together at the sight of his skinny client. Nathan’s client throws so many buzz words at him he’s dizzy. Fabio’s client only wears dresses when forced–so naturally, he’s going to force her. Gunnar is excited because he is the Lifetime Woman designer. He’s hugging his client and gushing about how much this is inspiring him after nearly going home last week, and generally working hard to redeem himself in the eye of the viewers.
Onward to Mood and two yards of this and three yards of that. Did we mention this was a one day challenge? As Tim says “naturally!”
I am horrified by the hair make overs. I’m sorry, but if I was taken to a salon and had boxes presented to me as what they were using to dye my hair–held in such a way so the logo is visible, natch, I would leave. Salons should mix pots of dye for you, not use drug store box crap. Not impressing me name dropping hair salon!
Ven needs to stop bitching that his client is plus sized, or I’m going to start hoping he goes home.
Tim’s walk through:
- Nathan–He calls his client a “shapely pear shape.” When he tells Tim she wanted a two piece dress with her midriff showing, Tim is horrified. “I’m sorry,” he tells Nathan. Nathan agrees. Apparently Nathan’s solution was to do cut outs covered in mesh but “Not that regular old hooker mesh.” Tim is very concerned that the words “regular old hooker mesh” are being thrown about, and asks if he can convince the client to wear “shape wear” (ie spanx.)
- Christopher–His client likes jeans and blazers, so he’s making two pieces–a dress that can go with blazers and a cute little jacket that can be worn with jeans. Tim likes what he sees with both pieces, gives a thumbs up and passes on.
- Elena–When she says she’s making a high-waisted skirt for a short curvy girl, Tim looks ill. But Elena has a plan that includes a top that will cover it to it will all look good. Tim thinks this could really work–IF Elena can pull it off.
- Gunnar–The client wants to be bold, so he’s got many bold colors. Tim worries it might be a bit pinata, and says to make sure he works “clean.” At that Gunnar tosses all the colored fabric and decided to go with black.
- Fabio–He’s trying to feminize his client. The dress on the dummy looks like a maid’s outfit. Tim worries the neckline is too high, but Fabio says she doesn’t like cleavage. Tim nods in concern.
- Sonjia–She’s trying to give the client a more mature look, but she’s a bit lost in how the dress should fall. The bodice has lovely folding action, but currently the knot is too high and the dress is too long. Tim has faith she’ll pull this together once the fitting happens.
- Ven–Ven is horrified that his client is a 14. Ven sneers at her saying she has “no shape” and “no style.” As a size 12/14, I would like to tell Ven to fuck off and drop dead. When he sneers that she’s old “nearly 40” Tim is like “Oh! SO Old! Not!” Ven is not winning any friends here. Tim points out that clothes can provide an optical illusion, if Ven can pull his head out of his ass long enough to be creative about it.
- Alicia–Eww, the pink is awful. Why isn’t she making pants?
- Dmitry–he’s trying to give his girl attitude. Tim thinks it’s too conservative.
Fitting time. Fabio’s client loves her dress. Sonjia is working out length. Elena client lights up about her dress. Alicia’s dress is not done enough to tell, but when Ven says he thinks she’s in trouble, I want her to not be. Gunnar’s client is over the moon about her dress. All of Ven’s stuff is too small. The belts he chose, the top he made, the skirt he did. Nothing fits her. She looks ill. I never thought I’d say thing, but given the choice between him and Gunnar, I’d take Gunnar.
Day of runway–Ven’s client hates her outfit and Ven can’t hear it. She hates everything he’s doing, and she’s in tears. The client friend is pissed and starts lecturing him. It’s a horrifying. I can only hope he’s in the bottom.
Onward to the clothes.
What horrific stripey thing is that Heidi is wearing? Oof. Our guest judge is Alice Temperley of Temperley London.
Elena–The top is oddly shaped and not flattering, but that’s a great pencil skirt.
Melissa–It’s a little black dress. It’s not a bad little black dress, I think. The wrap is very cute, but it’s too long, and it’s too big and it makes it hard to see if there’s anything special about the little black dress. Even Kors and Heidi are shown grumping about it.
Alicia–Yes she’s from West Virgina, and this dress has all the sophistication of a West Virgina bridesmaid’s dress. I hate the lace cut outs. WHY DIDN’T SHE MAKE PANTS? The client loves it though.
Christopher–The dress looks really good, but the client wasn’t fond of the jacket and took it off the moment she hit the runway. Christopher is crushed since that was the piece he worked hardest on, and here it is in the big picture a ball of crushed up cloth in her hand.
Gunnar–I take it back, I wouldn’t want him as my designer. The dress is ugly, badly sewn and unfinished looking. I hate the ruffled skirt, it looks like a black nightie. But that doesn’t really matter because the client thinks she looks like a million bucks in it and is having the time of her life on the runway. The knowing look she throws Heidi as she leaves the runway is priceless. Heidi says she was the best model on the runway and the entire panel agrees. Kors says she rocks, and says the dress is flirty. Temperley says this is really about the transformation. Nina says the neckline should have been lower, but agrees that the transformation is fantastic and the client loving it is what counts.
Dmitry–The bodice is good, but the waist gives her a bit of a tummy and I’m not sure on the length. I think it should have hit the knee. Heidi likes the bright color and says it’s sexy but not slutty. Nina says “edgy and cool.” Nina also loves the color with her skin, and I have to agree. especially with the taking of her hair to the strawberry blonde, it makes the green tones in the blue just pop. Kors says it was a smart fabric choice. Temperley agrees with me that the neck is a bit high and the length is a bit short, but says that (especially with the accessories) it feels it was the most modern piece up there.
Fabio–I know it what she wanted, but it feels like a color blocking experiment gone wrong. I just HATE the belt. I think the dress would improve tenfold without it. The judges don’t agree with me–but these are the people who kept Mila around for years. Heidi loves the girl’s sassy attitude, and says she would know in a heartbeat she was an artist. Nina calls the dress phenomenal which I would say is a stretch. Temperley likes the necklace, but hates the belt. Kors says that it works because she’s owning it. Heidi says it was an unexpected dress, and that’s why they are giving the win this week to Fabio. Oh well. Sorry Dmitry. Destined to be robbed every week.
Sonjia–She cut the dress too short. (Also those shoes are a travesty.) I know she was worried about length making the client look short, but this doesn’t do good things. I would worry about sitting down in it. That knot isn’t helping. It should be lower. The whole dress is just off. Heidi thinks the knot was a good idea, but it didn’t work, and yes–the dress is too damn short. Temperley agrees with me that the proportions are off, and wants to take the whole dress and yank it down to expose the shoulder and move the knot lower. Heidi says her maternity dresses looked like that. Kors agrees that in order to pull off that sort of fabric knot so high, one needs to be full on top and have a nice round tummy for the fabric to flow over. Temperley says it was just too run of the mill cocktail for her.
Ven–His client is making the best of it up there, but the top is unflattering and the skirt makes her look like a double wide. He blames the client. I know he’s safe because of his earlier work, but maaaaaaan. Heidi says it looks like someone just stuck things on her without thought to who she was or what she looked good in. Kors calls the top a turquoise smock. Temperley agrees the top is awful. The client (not the one wearing the clothes, but the friend who brought her in) starts crying at how terrible this all turned out to be and how her friend has been humiliated. Heidi says directly to Ven “This is all your fault.” Nina calls him selfish. Kors agrees: “He only cares about Ven.”
Nathan–Oh my lord. Sorry Nathan, but that illusion you bought in place of hooker mesh? It’s totally hooker mesh. This dress is downright slutty. It looks like what a 14 year old would think was sophisticated to wear to junior prom. The thing she was wearing when she first showed up looked better on her. Heidi says it looks “a little cheap. Actually, I take it back. It looks a lot cheap.” and then says the poor thing looks like a “hoochie mama.” Temperley needs this idiom explained to her. Kor translates: “a tart.” “Mmm,” says Temperley, “Yes.” (Snort.) Nina says “unfortunate. Ill fitting. Disaster.” When Nathan said he was only doing what she wanted, Nina asks if she went to Mood and choose the fabric? No? Exactly. So don’t blame her. There will be no clients under the bus this evening. Kors says “Betty White wears illusion. And no human being should wear tight satin.” Agreed!
Heidi keeps warning that one “or maybe more of you” will be out. First up, Nathan is out. He agrees with the decision. Sonjia is then told she is in. Ven is left standing on the runway. To even think they’re going to get rid of him before we reach Fashion week is ridiculous. This is just the opportunity for Heidi to tell Ven off. Of course he’s in. And of course Heidi was just wasting her breath. He doesn’t even hear their criticisms. In his mind, it’s the client’s fault for being overweight and style challenged. He doesn’t know why he was the last one up there, let alone in the bottom. In his eyes there were “some weak looks” that were not him.
Next week–an outfit it put into production! The girls struggle. Ven says women designers are naturally not as good as men. I think it’s time for us all to be officially done with Ven.