Project Runway All Stars: Short Timers
Is it wrong of me to be a little afraid of this episode?
Angela is sporting a very plain column minidress that is nothing but sparkles. Not bad, but I feel like Heidi would wear it better. (Btw the way, Poor Heidi! Ok, moving on.) This week’s challenge is “Taste inspired by Taste.” They wheel out a gelato cart who I’m sure I’m supposed to register the brand, but since I’ve never seen it on Food Network, I don’t. The taste (and the color swatch of the ice cream) is their inspiration to make something that represents their style in the most tasteful way possible. Since he won, Michael gets to chose first. He takes grapefruit–and is disappointed it turns out to be such a pale pink. He was hoping for the ruby-red of the inside of a real grapefruit, but the gelato is a far lighter, slightly blue-ish pink. Each contestant gets to decide who goes next. The breakdown is as follows:
- Michael: Grapefruit
- Mondo: Cantelopue
- Mila: Milk and Sour Cherries
- April: Blueberry
- Jerrell: Fruit of the Forest
- Kenley: Passion Fruit
- Austin: Vanilla Madagascar
- Anthony: Green Tea
- Rami: Kiwi
- Kara: Chocolate with Cayenne Pepper
Kara is not happy she gets picked last, and doubly upset she winds up with chocolate.
Then the moment we’ve all been waiting for because the trailers for this week showed it over and over. Diane Von Furstenberg shows up and announces they have six hours to do the challenge. Have fun kids!
These six hours includes 30 minutes to sketch, and a trip to “Mini Mood” in the next room. Mondo freaks out that he didn’t time mange properly and somehow didn’t get all the fabric he needed. April on the other hand is upset that mini mood doesn’t carry black jersey and she only ends up with the small yardage of blue and purple. Kara decides that she only needs “chocolate-colored accents” and to focus on the taste of cayenne as an excuse to buy red fabric.
Now that they’re back in the workroom faced with their purchases, April decides she’s going with “Violet! You’re turning Violet!” for blueberry. I love this concept, but dressing a moddle as a blueberry might not go over so well on the runway. Mila is all proud of herself for not using an inch of black with her white. I’m not sure why, since she just replaced black with red and is just doing the same damn thing she always does. Meanwhile Austin is wasting time having a meltdown at his bobbin. Stop bitching and sew!
Joanna’s walk through! She tells them not to stop working and has more gelato for everyone to eat so keep their sugar rush going. She starts with Kara, who tells Joanna she thinks she has this nailed. Joanna nods and moves on. She asks how April how can she have a moment if she’s doing the same thing she always does? and follows it up by noting how short and uneven the skirt on this dress is right now. Mondo explains that his dress can handle any accessory, even though it is bright orange. Joanna blinks at him and keeps walking. Anthony insist he’s creative at Joanna’s disbelieving stare. She sort of like Evil Tim Gunn, if you think about it. She is utterly disappointed that Austin has vanilla, and demands to see how the “Madagascar” is being included. She accuses Rami of doing a wrap skirt to suck up to Diane who’s the queen of wrap dresses. If she’d watched Rami’s season she’s know that he used to do nothing but wrap clothing, and that he’s not kidding when he says he’s really just making a wrap skirt because it’s the fastest thing he can under the circumstances. Joanna is surprisingly not mean to Mila, but that’s because there’s nothing to say, it’s so dull. And finally, Joanna makes Michael feel self conscious about his sewing skills being so fast, and tries to get him to admit he uses glue. (Rude!)
That was the end of that whirlwind! And Here Come the Moddles! Upon further review, Mondo’s made a caftan. April doesn’t have enough fabric to do anything Joanna recommended, because her dress is too small for her moddle. Hello, don’t you have the measurements? Haven’t you been making clothes for this girl for nearly a month now? Too small? Oy. Mila realises her dress is way sheer and her runway show is bordering on NSFW. Kara steals Austin machine, but gets caught. He decided the look of death will substitute in for actual altercations since he doesn’t have time for them. Really, does anyone in the workroom like Kara and her frazzled frantic energy? Because I sort of feel like the answer is no.
In the last hour, those who know what they’re doing are done, and those who don’t work like that….well, they’re sewing their moddles into their outfits instead of trying to sew in fasteners. Joanna wasn’t kidding, April’s dress is way short, and when her moddle turns around the outfit looks like a disaster. Anthony takes one look at Kara’s moddle, and dubs her a “pregnant cupcake.” He’s not wrong.
Let’s go to the runway!
Angela did find time to change outfits in the last six hours. She says she just saw them a few hours ago. No, a few is three. She saw them six hours ago. Which would not be several, because that would be seven. Let’s not confuse these people with math, Barbie told them that stuff is hard.
Not only do we have Diane as a guest judge but also Miranda Kerr, who will wear the winning design.
Kenley made exactly the same thing she always makes. It’s not bad. Well constructed, matches her gelato color, and completely predictable.
Rami’s bodice is really interesting, while the skirt is nothing. I like the holes in the shoulders, and the three different materials in the structure give it an edge. Rami’s choice to move into structured folds and away from wrapping and draping everything in sight is a lovely discovery.
Jerrell…hello, there’s a random hippie walking down the runway. I guess his idea for “Fruit of the Forest” was to make a “Children of the Forest” type outfit? It’s not terrible, but it strikes me as a bad version of the island-wear that Anya won with last season.
Austin: it’s a little bit Grecian wrap dress on a holiday cruise and a whole lot of vanilla. I know that’s his flavor,but did it really have to be his style too? I love vanilla. There must be a way to make it exciting again.
Mila really did just replace her usual black with red and proceed to make the same thing she always makes. She a semaphore flag! In all seriousness, it’s a pretty ambitious outfit to try to make in six hours, which shows in her unfinished construction look. But the judges love it. They love the lines. Well, most of the judges love it. Diane thinks it looks rushed and makes frowny faces at it. Georgina points out that the weight of the accessories ruin the lightness of the dress. That’s funny because I think this is the first time we’ve seen Mila really try to “style” something she made instead of letting it stand on its own. Issac says this was his favorite. They may be voting it in the top three, but the favorite? The rest of the judges stare at him like he’s nuts. Besides, Diane is not impressed. Safe, but no winner.
Mondo: The center is cantaloupe, but the sleeves are straight honeydew. It makes me think of a 1960s bathing suit cover. He even styled her in Jackie O glasses. It’s very 1972. Diane loves it because that’s the last year she remembers. The judges love that he made a caftan that flatters the body. Angela hates the color, but seriously–this was the color of the ice cream. She decides she loves the sleeves to make up for it. Miranda decided she would rather wear this one than Michael’s because she’s breastfeeding and needs to be able to wear a bra. TMI honey. As it typical, no one cares what the moddle wants, and he doesn’t take the win.
Michael: sorry, but this reminds me of a 1980s nightgown from Dallas. Or maybe Dynasty. It looks like flaps of skin folded over in front. Michael admits he did something he knew that he would finish. The judges say he’s missing the tartness of grapefruit. Georgina is perplexed this is the color. Hello–people: THIS WAS THE COLOR OF HIS ICE CREAM. Like Mondo, he was doing the assignment as assigned. Hating on the color is hating on the challenge, and also, bullcrap. Meanwhile, on the sane side of things: Diane LOVES the dress and tells him to call her after the show. Michael looks like he might faint. Issac loves the flow of it as the moddle walks, but thought the reference of the color was too “on the nose.” Georgina is stuck on hating the color, making her want to smack her upside the head and hand her a bowl of it so she can see that this was really the color swatch he had to work with. Miranda whimpers that she can’t wear a bra with it But Michael wins. Miranda lies and says she can’t wait to wear it. As soon as she’s done breastfeeding I guess.
Anthony: The skirt isn’t bad at all, though it’s a bit short for Anthony’s usual style. The real problem is the bodice” it’s overdone. It’s trying to do the structured folded thing, but that’s not really his forte, so instead it looks a bit collapsed and ucky. Good for him for stretching himself, but too bad he fell down on it. The concept he tells the judges was “ice cream as it melts” which is a creative take on the challenge. They love the idea it came from, but they hate the execution. Issac says it’s ugly. Diane praises the idea while looked pained at the dress in front of her. Georgina and Miranda say the back was what ruined it. Diane says that the skirt and the bodice being different colors hurt his visual, and over emphasized the bodice, which worked to his detriment. The different color drew the eye to the bulbous lumpy bodice. If it had been one color it might not have been so offensive. Thankfully, they declare him safe.
Kara” Two words: pregnant cupcake.Sorry once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. It’s worse from the side. The layers of brown are so unfortunate in their shade…that’s a good way to use brown. This was not it. I thought she bought red fabric? I thought she was going red? Why is the only red at the bottom like a bloodied slip that showing? Georgina says the dress color is bad. (and then some!) Kara spins a tale of why these were her choices. Her explanation sounds great but the dress doesn’t measure up. Diane calls it an unflattering outfit. Angela also wrote pregnant, and cannot figure out why she got stuck on such an awful shade of chocolate-brown. Diane says at least it didn’t look amateur-ish. Issac says the dress was well made and inoffensive. Angela disagrees, she was totally offended. I think Diane was the deciding vote, but her comment about things being amatuer-ish was totally directed at April’s dress below. When Kara’s told she’s safe she starts to incoherently babble at the judges, saying she’s so passionate and starts promising the judges how she’ll do better. There’s a wave of pity that comes off the judges in her general direction, which jives with my feeling that they would have sent her home in a heart beat if it wouldn’t upset Diane. It’s totally a moment of “Grrr, leave.” The other designers look really upset when Kara comes back and screams with joy and is all bouncing and happy to be in. They all liked April better. Michael looks like someone just killed his puppy.
Whatever guys. Kara is so out next week.
Oh, April. The front of the skirt isn’t so bad, but the back is a disaster. Worse, the bodice is uneven. It would have been one thing if the bodice had been ok, but the four points of the structured “cone-like” neckline are all different heights. This was way too ambitious for her to pull off in six hours. The problem with April is she doesn’t recognize her limitations. The judges love the layering, but everyone agrees the overall effect is a rushed botched job. Issac notes that the length is right in front but wrong is back. He calls the back “scary” and then adds that the belt is just as bad. Georgina asks that she remove the belt. This improves things, styling wise, and the bodice points even themselves out a bit once released, but not enough for them to line up properly. Diane hates it. hates It. She sneers that it looked like a little piece of Halloween. Everyone else thinks she should have gone more Halloween, and been true to herself. Then they all look at Diane and realise that she disagrees completely. Too bad. I thought she’d be safe another week or so, but let’s face it, April’s chances of making the top 5 were pretty slim. Unsurprisingly, the shortest challenge was the undoing of the one contestant with the biggest time management issues. Bye April.
Next week…something about going up to real people in central park and convincing them to give up their clothing for the challenge? Is this a twist on the “real bodies” challenge? I guess we’ll find out.