Project Runway All Stars: Having A Ball At The Opera
Welcome back! Angela is sporting a dress that’s a bit on the matronly side today. Not sure how I feel about it. But then we are interrupted by Bagley and Mischka showing up, and demanding a couture ball gown for a night at the opera. Makes sense considering their Spring 2012 show. The budget is $350, and the contestants only have one day to turn it out. Oh Lifetime and your inability to spring for more than one day of filming.
Austin and his unfortunate mustache remind us that he was once known as “The King of Couture” on Project Runway, before Chris March and Christian Sirano came along and made us forget all about him. Everyone is too polite to remind him of that and let him work himself into a tizzy of “I must be perfect!”
Off they go to Mood. Kenley picks pink taffeta, and pink and black polka dots. (I assume Marnifer squealed.) April is going for an ox blood-red fabric to show she doesn’t just do black. Michael C has a meltdown because he was originally doing red, but since April schooled him on the mops last week, now he can’t do the same thing as her. He shouldn’t have worried. April obviously watched last season of ProRun and runs for the dye bucket, horrifying the rest of the workroom. Obviously they didn’t watch last season, because they think this is somehow going to send her home. This is me, shaking my head at them. Hello guys? Have you not heard the dye bucket is in this tv season? No?
Joanna’s walk through: Rami is definitely moving away from drape and more towards folds. He says he’s watching Austin as his biggest competition. So of course then Joanna visits Austin and tells him “everyone is watching him.” No pressure! Joanna decides to go with the “dying will send you home meme” when talking to April, freaking her out a bit. Maybe dying is last season? MichaelC admits that he doesn’t think about how real women’s bodies will look in his clothes. At least he’s willing to admit it. Kara’s dress bodice fabric looks a bit like an 80s bedsheet. Ew. SweetP is just happy to still be here. Anthony chose white. Joanna asks how that will not read “bride”? Right.
The agreement among the designers is that couture cannot be done in a day, and it’s almost insulting to call something one does in a day “couture.” Anthony suggests they just all call what they’re making “really, really pumped up prom dresses.” They all admit that they’re half-assing this, because the time to do french seams and hand rolled hems just isn’t there. Funny how a few years in the real world make them realise how unreal the show that started their careers is.
Let’s go to the runway and see what the inflated prom dresses look like.
Angela’s runway day dress is far more interesting than her opening dress. I love the chiffon neckline and how it drapes around the shoulders.
First off: the mushy middlers.
Kenley’s dress looks like a retro 50s number. Of course it does, it’s Kenley. I can see this as a prom dress circa 1959. It strikes me as a 1950s teenager’s dream of a red carpet number. It’s a bit cotton candy Barbie with all the pink though. Can I use “1950s” in every sentence of this review? 1950 people say yes.
Gordana: I love the bodice. Love. The skirt is some see thru fug. I’m not liking how unfinished it looks. I’m guessing she ran out of time? With a bodice like that, I would expect a fuller skirt. I do like the 1920s styling though.
Rami… The folded bodice is really interesting. The skirt feels a bit afterthoughty…sort of like there’s this tight mini dress of folded insanity up top and then he ran out of time, and needed it to be long enough for her to sit down, so he draped a quick skirt that hangs out of the original dress. It’s definitely mushy middle.
Mila. I don’t hate it. I can see Angela Jolie wearing it. It’s more red carpet glam than “night at the opera.” But considering this is Mila, these are high compliments coming from me.
Jerell…this would be the ugliest thing on the runway if SweetP wasn’t there. I hate the silhouette. I hate the fabric, especially the bodice fluff. The skirt fabric looked cheap on TV, in the picture it’s not as bad. The only good thing one can say about this is “at least it’s well made.”
Wow Mondo, wow. The fabric is gorgeous It’s retro futuristic Star Trek, with a hint of Asian fusion with the obi bow on the butt that attaches the train. I love it. I think it should have been in the top. I’m guessing the length and the fact that it’s not really “ball gown” as much as it is “awesome” that kept it out.
Anthony. Nothing bridal about it. Love the drape. Love the belt. Issac loves the white drape that doesn’t look a bit bridal, and the long, sexy, vampy gloves. Georgina worries the leather gloves are a bit too vampy. Bagley loves that it’s body conscious on one side and sexy on the other. Mischka calls it a showstopper, causing Anthony to squeal. They love the drapery and the drama of it. He is safe.
Michael blinged out. He’s the only one who went for bling on such a short time frame. Not a bad job. Issac can’t believe he made it in a day. He says this is “Kim Kardashian goes to the opera”. They love the plunging back that threatens butt cleavage, it goes so low. Issac’s only complaint is not every body can pull this off. Angela is too busy drooling over the cute little beaded belt line across the back of the hips to care about bodies that aren’t perfect. Georgina praises the fabric choice. Bagley loves how it’s closed in the front but exposed in the back, and calls it sexy. Angela is going to steal the dress right off the runway. The only argument against it is that there are lots of dresses out there like it right now, but it’s a well executed vision of it. I think that lack of originality is the only reason Michael doesn’t take the win. I guess selling your dress to a famous supermodel right off the runway isn’t a bad consolation prize, even if it’s not Heidi Klum.
Austin…As this came down the runway, all I could write was Gold Lame Lovely. I like the black chiffon neckline that turns into a train in the back. “Fresh, classic, expensive.” says Issac. Bagley is impressed by Austin’s fabric cutting skills. Mischka nitpicks that the tulle on the bodice is just slightly uneven , which a horrified Austin instantly fixes. He’s going to be given a pass on that, since they all start talking about how he only had a day to do this and little things like that can slip by. “Tasteful but exciting.” they exclaim. Georgina says she wishes the bodice were cut a bit lower, which is odd because everyone else loves the modesty of the cut. The fact that its different is what lifted it above Michael. I think we are starting to see the trend towards 1920s being big for Fall 2012, because Austin is falling square into it. He takes the win, and immediately starts praises everyone in the room for loving his work.
Onto the Bottom:
Kara’s dress looks like a bed sheet. Or a walking couch. Issac loves the print (what?!), but says such a simple dress design has to be done perfectly. (Seriously? He loves the print? What is wrong with him? is he blind? Has he never been to a grandmother’s house who has her overstuffed chairs and 80s couch done in this godawful watercolor fabric?) They harp on the black grosgain waistline as being lopsided, and debate whether the bow should be longer, shorter or removed completely. I would think this is the least of Kara’s worries. Bagley loves it. Mischka says the dress is ok, but could have been spectacular. Kara defends herself by saying at least she added pockets. Pockets! Oh well that changes everything! No, it still looks like an 80s couch. Georgina says the dress isn’t “Kara” and makes noises about it being generic. Angela hates the fabric. Thank god someone other than me has sense. Issac tries to say it’s “Minimalist” but Mischka is like “oh please.” Either way, she’s safe.
April. The bodice has problems but the dye job is nice. She knows she has problems. Issac is glad she went for color, but that this was not the challenge to go tie-dye. Bagley and Mischka apparently hate red and black together and note all the places where the bodice is tortured and forced.This is especially noticable in the back, which Georgina calls “a mistake she let happen.” Angela and Georgina like the idea, but not the execution. Issac thinks the dying didn’t go far enough, whereas Bagley and Mischka both think it looks like she stood a red gown in an oil slick. Oh well, I guess dying your fabric went out with the rest of Fall 2011. But at least it wasn’t boring. This was considered a failure of time management, instead of a failure of vision, which is why she is safe.
Oh SweetP. Why is she here? This is awful. I mean, just, Ugh. It looks like a dress a European child’s doll would wear. Issac calls it prom. No, I don’t think most girls would be caught dead wearing that at prom. Bagley is closer to the mark when he says it’s a dirndl skirt. Paging Heidi Klum! Georgina asks why she went with the solid bodice and the flowered miles of skirt, when the first order of business should have been to switch them. Apparently SweetP considered that. Yes, but you didn’t actually do it did you? Shoulda, woulda, coulda, girl. Issac and Mischka say that the bodice’s ill-fitting proportions are the real issue and make fun of the bodice for being “1940s bathing suit.” For some reason they think the dress, especially the flowered skirt, will appeal to “real women.” They are wrong. The skirt is the true horror here. It’s starts at an empire waist and drapes out like a tent. Watching it go down the runway from the side, it looks like pregnancy wear. Thank god they send her and her inability to function in these short timeframes home.
Next week: flamboyant cocktail dresses for MISS PIGGY. I AM GOING TO LOVE IT.